If you are anything like the rest of the world, you have tried countless diets, diet pills, stomach wraps, detoxes, etc. Am I right? I figured. At the beginning of all this, there was a catalyst, something that caused you to want to change. Either you wanted to lose weight, get fit, get healthy, get hot- you get the point but I bet all of them started with the phrase, "I want to lose weight." More than half of my clients list weight loss as their main goal when signing up. It doesn't matter if they are overweight or not, weight loss will be written under the goals section 8 out of 10 times and that goes for girls and guys alike. So before you have even begun an assessment phase, you decide weight loss will be your focus. Most clients also send me photos of girls or guys they want to look like. Ok, so you have an ideal weight AND body that you want to strive for without knowing if the two correlate? This is not realistic.
Fast forward a few weeks. You have done everything on the plan that you were suppose to, you have literally poured blood, sweat, and tears into this but when check in time comes, the scale has either barely budged or hasn't moved at all. You stand there dumbfounded. Why am I not losing weight? I don't get it, this plan doesn't work. And you move on or give up. Well I am about to tell you the reasons you don't have the body you want (actually the body you think you want). For most of you who aren't in the fitness industry, this will be a tough pill to swallow.
5. Not Being Honest With Yourself
I am not talking about looking in the mirror and being honest, I mean being honest with your fitness and nutrition-having just a tiny bit more almond butter each time you have your snack but telling yourself it was only a tad bit more because of the tablespoon. Or justifying a dessert at the end of the meal because you "have been good all week." What are you a dog? Don't get me wrong, all of my programs, regardless of whether they are meal plans or flexible dieting, revolve around balance but this balance implies a healthy relationship with food. If you eat according to your goals for a few days and then reward yourself with cheesecake you are robbing yourself of those goals. In order to begin learning how to get lean while enjoying the foods you like, you have to be honest with yourself with regard to what you eat and how much you eat. Little extras add up so make sure that you measure foods so you know how much you are consuming. That is the first key to success. Once you get use to it, you will be able to eyeball certain portions of food, but it does take practice.
The same goes for training too. When you start a new program, you may feel silly or even stupid doing certain things so you may feel like skipping exercises or you may just not like a particular exercise. Don't let those feelings kill your motivation. Get in there and do the best you can. There will be a learning curve for even the most advanced lifters because we are always learning new techniques and new moves but don't lie to yourself and say you gave it your best when you know you had more in you. Of course, there will be days when you are off. We all have them, trust me. On those days, you may find that the best you could do was get to the gym and that is ok too. It only becomes a hindrance when you don't put in the effort but you say you are. Trust me, coaches can tell! Be honest and communicate with your trainer to be successful.
4. Self Sabotage
I know what you are thinking- why would anyone sabotage their progress? Well there are several reasons but I am going to talk about the one I see most often, which is something that client's don't even recognize as self sabotage- Starving yourself. Ok, maybe not starving themselves but certainly eating less calories than their BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate), which I consider to be starving your body. (Note: there are plenty of times when competitors strategically do this with supervision to achieve the leanness required to compete in certain divisions and this is a totally different story and NOT what I am referring to here. I am referring to non-competitors who are trying to "lose weight.")
I can't tell you how many people I encounter who eat too few calories FOR THEIR GOALS. If there goal is to lose weight, they think eating less is always the key. WRONG. While some people need a calorie deficit, a lot of people have killed their metabolism by eating so few calories and need to repair that metabolism. To achieve this, you actually have to eat more. That is where a skilled nutrition and fitness expert comes in handy! You can slowly increase calories so that you don't accumulate excess body fat in the process. Looking to gain muscle too? Then you definitely need to make sure you are eating enough.
3. Not Learning From The Process And Your Mistakes
You will make mistakes. We all do, it happens. However, if you don't learn anything from those mistakes then you are still going to be miles away from the body you want. Getting fit doesn't happen overnight. It is a long, complicated, process that takes patience, will power, and dedication. Don't just think of your new lifestyle as a way to get "skinny" (a term I can't stand), but rather think of it as getting fit and healthy and setting up habits that will ensure you stay that way. Learn from what you are doing- learn what food combinations work best for your body, learn what exercises work for your body- because after all, YOU know your body better than anyone and keying in on how you are feeling will only increase your success rate.
2. Comparing Your Progress To Others
Just don't. I could write a book on this subject but it boils down to weight, height, sex, body type, genetics, previous history, emotional, and even environmental factors, to name a few reasons that everyone is different. There are so many factors that play a part in someone's physical progress that it is impossible for you to compare yourself to someone else. Take myself and my workout partner. Similar build, sure- but she is a good 5 inches taller than me. On top of that, my torso is super short and hers isn't and we have completely different strengths and weakness. My quads are super strong (with my short little legs) and her taller limbs give her stronger hamstrings. Her body responds amazingly well to high protein, high carbs, my body responds better to moderate protein, moderate carbs and higher fats. I could go on and on but you get the point. Don't judge your progress according to someone else's or you will hinder your own progress. You are your only competition and your only goal is to work with your strengths and be the best You that you can be.
And the number 1 reason that you don't have the body you (think) you want-
1. You Are Trying Too Hard To Lose WEIGHT!
You step on the scale everyday and expect to see the number drop. When it has only dropped a pound or two, your mind is blown! When you started your fitness journey, you wanted to lose 10lbs. You are close to reaching that goal, but you still don't like the way you look. Why? Because the way you want to look doesn't correlate with a number on a scale. You want to have a flat stomach and a bikini booty right? What weight will give you that dream body? 140 lbs.? 130 lbs.? 120 lbs.? You can keep chasing a number on the scale but until you realize that building muscle and losing body fat is the only way to get the body you wanted when you started, you will keep chasing it and waste your money on every fad diet out there. I see this happen daily. Client photos will come back showing an improvement with obvious body fat loss but the client will inevitably write " But I haven't lost any weight this week." What they aren't seeing is that while the scale may not have budged much, their body fat went down, which means they have less fat on their body. What ultimately ends up happening though is they are let down and think that the plan doesn't work and they go on a detox or low carb diet where they see instant gratification on the scale- Yes, I lost 5 lbs. this week. Most of that is water weight that will come back as soon as you let go of the restrictive plan and guess what? You don't look any more defined!
Bottom line is, quit thinking lol. Don't assign a number to the body you want. Instead, allow progress pictures to do the talking. If it helps, take measurements so you can see if you are losing inches and please, please , please only weigh yourself every two weeks. If you have to weigh yourself weekly, do so at the same time of day, after a rest day. Consistency is key.
Remember that if you aren't in love with yourself before you decide to begin a fitness journey, losing weight or getting lean won't solve that problem. It won't make you love yourself anymore, your boyfriend or husband won't love you anymore. If anything you place more burden on yourself to stay that way. Why am I telling you this? Because so many men and women start a program thinking they will have higher self esteem when they lean down, but it won't change the way you feel about yourself. I can attest to this. I lost 15 lbs. to compete several years ago and it didn't change the way anyone treated me. My husband loved me just the same and it didn't make me happier. Just remember that there is no right way to have a body!
Hopefully by now you have realized that the scale is only a tool and you cannot put a weight on the body you want to achieve. Realize you are worth more than you give yourself credit for and if you are then ready to make a lifestyle change, do it for the right reasons!
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