I Lied.

(Complete transparency in one little post)

It may not be a big deal to you but it is to me because for years I have coached women and men not to worry about the number on the scale. I preach it day in and day out. The scale is merely a tool. This is why we use body fat, measurements, and progress pictures as an indication of success. Well, I lied. Sort of. The truth is the scale is a tool that CAN determine your progress, but wreck your mental progress.

For the past few months I kept telling myself I was ok with gaining for my offseason. In order for me to gain enough muscle to stand on the WBFF stage and look like I belong, I have some serious work to do. However, as I have reversed dieted and fluctuated and see development, I also see that number on the scale creeping up. My size 2 jeans are fitting a little more snug than they did before. My abs-gone. It hit me that I am letting that little electronic device do what I tell all of my clients not to do- let it define my progress.

As I look in the mirror, I see so much muscle development in such a short time. In the summer, I was reluctant to even wear shorts but here in January (where we are experiencing a warm spell) I rock my shorts to the gym and feel confident because my legs have no cellulite like they normally do in offseason. I am OCD when it comes to tracking my food and 98% of the time I hit my macros within 3g each day. That is pretty damn good!  Yet, as I stepped on the scale in the shorts I was just rocking, I let my confidence be determined by a number that I KNOW reflects nothing more than my body holding water from increased carbs (yay for carbs), glycogen, inflammation from crazy leg days AND those carbs, blood volume, and yes, even a slight amount of body fat that is necessary when gaining muscle.

There is something about that number going up, regardless of how you look, that determines how you feel about yourself and this week it got to me. Bad. Last Saturday my weight was perfect by my standards, two days later plus four pounds, the next day down two, the next day back to Saturday's weight and today back up. The client inside me wanted to know why even though the coach inside me knew the reason. I decided to share what I was going through because so many of the emails that come across my desk are clients who say they see a difference but the scale isn't moving or it is moving up for no apparent reason. You aren't alone. No matter what your goal is, the process can be frustrating but remember that it is a process. It takes time. For those of you struggling to lose weight, remember you didn't put it on over night so it will take time to come off. Remember to celebrate non-weight related victories like increasing your weight on squats or not having to lay down to button those skinny jeans. For those of you trying to add muscle, keep at it. That takes time too. Lots of time, in fact. AND you CANNOT be in a caloric deficit OR be at maintenance to do this. Offseason for a competitor can make or break you because it is there where the muscle is developed. You won't add a bunch of muscle if you prep in 12 weeks because at that point you should be ready to be at a caloric deficit. No matter what your goal is, get a coach. It is so much easier to have someone watching over your progress to remind you of your goal and monitor your physical and mental progress. They see progress while you are your own worst critic! While the scale may be my nemesis at the moment, I have seen so much strength improvement and so much muscle development in such a small time frame. I have also seen my body respond to higher macros than I have ever had with little insulin sensitivity. I am lifting heavier than I have every lifted and still find that my lifts could be heavier. At the end of the day (or morning when I weigh in) I still find myself stuck on that number. If it is down or the same, I feel good. If it is up more than I feel it should, I get super frustrated.

I am giving my workouts 100%. I use to think I was giving all of my workouts 100% but once I started working with my new coach (yes, even coaches have coaches because otherwise I would have given up already) I realized all of my previous preps have been a joke. I am no longer able to say that I gave my previous preps 100%.  An extra bite here or there (if I don't track it, I didn't eat it, right?), skipping the last few reps when I knew I had it in me- that is not 100%. Now I am giving it my all and the number on the scale doesn't reflect the gains that I have made in my lower and upper body. 

For those of you who are just trying to get in shape, you can still give 100% without the time commitment that a competitor puts into it. If all you have is 30 minutes four times a week, then give that 30 minutes everything you've got!  Use the scale as a tool and if it makes you cry, stop and remember the new rules I promise to practice as well as preach:

1. This is a process that takes time!

2. The number on the scale doesn't determine your progress. Take your measurements, take progress pictures each week, how you feel, etc. Those are things that combined determine your progress.

3. Trust the process (which is why you need that coach!)